How to Unspoil a Child – The Ultimate Guide
Are you wondering how to unspoil a child?
Whilst we can all rave about how fabulous it is – I think almost all of us would say that parenting is tough at times. Before you know it, your worries will transform from nappies to not sharing and at some point, you may actually think to yourself hmmm…maybe my child is acting a little spoilt. Whilst all of these thoughts are a part and parcel of parenthood, having your kids act entitled or ungrateful is not something you have to tolerate. It doesnt make anyone happy, especially them.
If that sounds like something you’re dealing with, here’s something to help. Read on to discover how to unspoil your child and develop a loving relationship with them that they appreciate too. There are benefits in un-spoiling a child for everyone involved.
Keep it Minimal
There are many reasons to embrace the minimalist attitude in life, and here’s another one. Remember that you don’t need to get your hands on everything that catches your eye. Focus only on buying what is truly important to you, and things that you absolutely can’t do without. Children learn from example, and whatever you do, they’re bound to copy that. Making do with less actually teaches us to be less acquisitive and this, in the long run, saves on stress and money. A more minimalist attitude causes more zen-like and less frenzied behaviour.
Focus on Experiences
When it comes to rewards and gifts for your chil=d make it a point to focus less on material things and more on experiences and time. This will help your little one value his relationships more than anything else, and is a good way to un-spoil them. So instead of gifting her an iPad on his birthday, plan a family trip to a place you know she’ll enjoy. This is the stuff memories are made of – a day at the seaside is a magical thing.
Value Hard Work
Teach your little one the importance of hard work- the next time they demands something, let them know you often need to work things you want in life. Getting them involved in prepping the food if they insist they are hungry is a good example of this in action.
Develop the Spirit of Giving as a way to unspoil a child
One of the simplest and easiest ways to unspoil your child is to help them develop the spirit of giving. To help a child understand the concept of donation, and have them donate their toys to a chairty shop. You could encourage them to bake a cake for an elderly neighbour who lives on their own, or perhaps they could make a thank you card for their teacher. Little acts of giving bring their own rewards as the bit of our brain that lights up when we receive lights up just the same when we give. Once your child realises the pleasure in giving they will be so keen to do more of it!
Every now and then, give your kids a run-down of what you expect from them. Gently help them understand the difference between being grateful and acting entitled. Remind them that it is not possible for everyone to have everything. The lack of a few things helps us appreciate things that we actually have.
I talk to my children about the world and their privilege in relation to it. This is not as intense as it sounds. I help them see that whilst they are moaning about having potatoes not chips that some children are walking miles just to get a little water. I talk factually not emotionally I am not trying to make them feel guilty I explain too, as they moan about getting up for breakfast ready for school some children not very far away will have made do without breakfast and will be hungry today. I emphasise how lucky they are and how fortunate, It is important they understand their privilege.
Emphasise Gratitude as a way to unspoil a child
Making gratefulness a part of your (and your childs) life is another great idea. It can not just help un-spoil your child but transform their life to a more positive one. Teach them to say thanks for the little things in life, and find happiness in those things. Practise it yourself too.
Encourage them to give compliments
Givng a compliment can be tricky at first but it soon becomes easier – and it is such an absolutely delightful thing to do. It is a lovely habit to cultivate too. I recall my little girl telling a woman on a juicing counter ( who looked thoroughly miserable) that her hair looked amazing. It really did it was bright blue. The woman cheered up instantly and gave the biggest smile EVER. It brightened both of their days instantly. Doing this will help you both appreciate and respect. In my book Create Your Own Happy we have a page full of compliment slips and we encourage children to cut these out and share them with people.
Our children and we will be oh so very much happier if they do not act in selfish, spoilt ways – it doesn’t lead to anything but frustration and unhappiness if a child is entitled or ungrateful. The gentle methods above describe ways in which we can quickly nip this in the bud, This way our children will group up to be happier and less frustrated and great world citizens. Just small changes now can make such a huge difference later on.
Figure out what your child is really thinking
Sometimes we can think our child is acting demanding or s’spoilt’ when actually we have no ide a what is really driving their behavioous and it could be something else entirely.
Do take a look at this great new book by Tamith Carey too … What’s my child thinking?
Covering all your child’s developmental milestones from ages 2 to 7 years, What’s My Child Thinking? covers important issues – such as temper tantrums, sibling rivalry, and peer pressure. What’s more, there is a bank of practical “survival guides” for critical times, such as travelling in the car and going online safely.
Rooted in evidence-based clinical psychology and championing positive parenting, What’s My Child Thinking? will help you tune into your child’s innermost thoughts and be the parent you want to be
It gives really sound parenting tips for dealing with tricky issues, gently guiding you to help and support your child.
Over to you for your top tips to avoid spoilt kids
I hope you have enjoyed this post on how to unspoil a child – nobody wants a spoilt kid, do they? I hope you might also like my post on tips to raising a confident child and 10 simple ways to make a child feel loved If you have experience of helping your child become unspoiled – I would absolutely love to hear from you and and hear your tips of course!
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Unspoil a child