Have you dated recently?
I have been chatting to a number of friends recently about dating and how it has changed over the years.
We are all in our later 40’s. Most of us are married but a few have ventured back out onto the dating scene in recent years. And it really has changed, not just because we are older now but also because of technology and our ore business like and ordered approach to our lives.
Let me explain what I mean.
How we used to date
When we were younger we met those we were to go on to date less by purpose and more by chance. We would meet potential partners through school or college, we would meet them at a club, usually after a few drinks when the slow dances came on. Sometimes we would meet them on holiday and sometimes through shared hobbies. It was all very random and hopeful (and often hopeless!) How strange really to think that someone random who just happens to be in your class or happens to be in the same disco might be THE ONE. It is leaving an awful lot to fate, isn’t it!
Then as we got into our 20’s a lot of us met potential partners through work or through friends, dinner parties, bbq’s and the like, often with a little element of matchmaking going on. Still, convenience and chance played a big part in this.
By 30 most of us had married or settled, some happy, some no to so happy and at least for now our rather random dating lives seemed to have juddered to a halt.
Older dating is a whole new ball game
Nowadays a great deal of dating is done through a dating site
and this is often a whole new experience for over 40’s particularly for those who have just come out of a long term relationship and perhaps haven’t dated in years. Because it is such a new experience there is an awareness that specific support is required to guide older people through dating again. Specific dating sites for older people such as older-dating.com have been intentionally created with older dates in mind. Dating as an older person in this modern world requires courage and a brand new attitude.
Dating these days is different, It is is all about knowing the kind of person you want to meet and be prepared to specify that rather than haphazardly just falling into something as we did in out youth.
How to online date
So how do these older dating suites work? Well it’s all quite simple and practical really.
You simply upload your photo and write a short bio about yourself and what you’re looking for. You will include things like hobbies, interests and beliefs. By leaving such details you can be matched with similar people which saves you so much time scrolling and hoping to find the right match and more time to actually get on with the business of dating. To me, this sounds a much more relaxing and civilised way of dating than the random hopes and wasted time that can come from just casually hooking up with someone you may just happen to meet.
There are a few essentials I have to throw in here. Don’t be so specific you close yourself off to people who are JUST like you, we aren’t after carbon copies of ourselves are we – what we want is someone who brings something new and fresh to our life.
I also just feel I need to say something about safety.
The golden safety rules of dating online
- Let someone know where you are going and who with and arrange to call them a specific time
- Met in a public place and say in a public place at least for the first few days
- Have our own way to get there and get home and enough money to do so
- Have your phone fully charge and a battery charger with you
- Do not share really specific personal information (such as your address) on your first dates
Free dating sites are a great way to enhance your social life and the world when you are on a budget and can lead to some lovely adventures. My advice would be to embrace fully these older years whether you are in a relationshio or not. As your children grown and you have wisdom on your sife you might find you have a brand new and brilliant dating life.
And love. You might find love too.