Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn Review
It is research-based and anecdotal and it’s a refreshing/uncomfortable/thought-provoking read. It advocates parenting and demonstrating loving for our children without condition and being WITH them in their challenging times not ostracising or punishing them when they don’t please us.
I have never been too comfortable with bribes and the naughty step. They never happened to me as a kid and I was pretty well behaved (honest) I won’t lie I have resorted to both when super tired or frustrated but they make me feel really controlling and a bit like a dog trainer. I’m all for calming down kids and naturally reinforcing positive behaviour but I was looking for another way to parent rather than the naughty step and this book gave me some good ideas.
Kohn encourages you to think long-term and to be your child’s supporter as they work through problems, not another stressor. This book is about building long-term relationships with our kids and encouraging them to be creative, imaginative, passionate not sheep like and easily controlled. Its definitely not Supernanny and it does challenge the ‘parent in complete control’ idea that pervades parenting guidance literature.
Well worth a read – if only for a different perspective.