How much have I loved reading I Let You Go, Clare Mackinstosh’s psychological thriller?
I can honestly say I devoured it , it was truly unputdownable. I am so happy to have Clare here on the blog today discussing the inspiration behind I Let You Go -her fabulous debut and no.1 Amazon bestseller.
I began my police training in 1999 and was posted to Oxford in 2000. In December that year a nine-year-old boy was killed by joyriders in a stolen car on the Blackbird Leys estate. It was four years before the inquest ruling of unlawful killing, during which time an extensive police investigation was carried out. The case formed the backdrop to my early years as a police officer, and was still generating enquiries when I joined CID, three years later.
A substantial reward was offered, as well as the promise of immunity from prosecution for the passenger travelling in the car, should they come forward and identify the driver. But despite several arrests, no one was ever charged.
The aftermath of this crime made a big impression on me. How could the driver of that Vauxhall Astra live with what they’d done? How could the passenger keep quiet about it? How could the child’s mother ever come to terms with such a terrible loss? I was fascinated by the intelligence reports that came in following each anniversary appeal, and by the diligence of the police in sifting through every single piece of information in the hope of finding that one missing link.
Years later, when my own son died – in very different circumstances – I experienced first-hand how emotion can cloud one’s judgement and affect behaviour. Grief and guilt are powerful feelings, and I began to wonder how they might affect two women, involved in very different ways in the same incident. The result was I Let You Go.