Grief is a deeply personal experience, one that touches every part of a person’s life. When a loved one passes away, the sorrow can feel overwhelming, and those left behind often struggle to know how to cope with the loss. While the emotions that come with grief are universal, how people navigate through it can vary widely. It is important for friends and family to offer support, but often, they are unsure how to best provide comfort. In such delicate moments, finding ways to commemorate the lost one can also bring solace. Ashes to glass keepsakes and rings for ashes are two meaningful ways that some choose to honour their loved ones, turning sorrow into something tangible and lasting. However, the process of supporting someone through grief goes beyond physical keepsakes and requires understanding, patience, and empathy.
Understanding Grief
Grief is a complex and multi-faceted emotion that can be triggered by a variety of life events, not just the loss of a loved one. However, the death of someone close to us is undoubtedly one of the most intense and difficult experiences of life. It’s important to acknowledge that grief is not a linear process. People do not move through stages of grief in a predictable order; instead, they may experience emotions like sadness, anger, guilt, denial, and even moments of joy, often all at once.
The five stages of grief, proposed by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in 1969, are commonly referenced: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. While these stages can be helpful in providing a framework for understanding grief, it’s important to remember that not everyone will experience all these stages, nor will they experience them in a specific order. Instead, grief is unique to each individual. Some people may revisit stages multiple times, while others may bypass them altogether.
Furthermore, the length and intensity of grief differ from person to person. Some individuals may begin to feel somewhat “better” after a few months, while others might find themselves in a state of mourning for years. The key to offering meaningful support is recognising that each individual’s grief journey is valid and personal.
The Role of Support During Grief
When someone is grieving, they often need more than just a sympathetic ear. Emotional support is important, but so is providing tangible assistance, creating a safe space for them to process their emotions, and helping them manage daily responsibilities that may feel overwhelming. It’s easy to feel unsure of what to do, but there are several ways that friends, family members, and even colleagues can be helpful.
Active Listening: One of the most powerful things you can do for someone who is grieving is to listen. When people mourn, they often need to share their feelings, memories, and thoughts, sometimes more than once. Grieving people need a non-judgemental, patient listener. Rather than offering solutions or platitudes, simply being present can make a huge difference. Allow them to express themselves at their own pace and offer comfort without forcing them to “move on” or “get over it.”
Acknowledging Their Loss: Saying the name of the deceased is a simple yet effective way to let the grieving person know that you remember and honour their loved one. Too often, well-meaning people avoid bringing up the deceased person, fearing that it will make the mourner sad. However, acknowledging the loss and speaking about the person helps to keep their memory alive and allows the griever to feel that their pain is seen.
Offering Practical Help: Grief can make everyday tasks feel impossible. Offering assistance with household chores, cooking, childcare, or even running errands can be a great relief for someone who is struggling to cope with loss. Offer specific help, such as, “Can I pick up groceries for you?” or “Would you like me to take care of the laundry this week?” This type of support allows the grieving person to focus on their emotional well-being.
Respecting Their Space: While it’s important to offer support, it’s also vital to respect their need for solitude. Some people may need time alone to process their emotions and find a sense of peace. It’s important to be sensitive to these cues and not take it personally if the grieving person declines invitations or seems distant. Let them know you’re there for them, but give them the space they need to heal.
Finding Comfort in Memorials: Ashes to Glass and Rings for Ashes
Grief does not only manifest in moments of sadness; it is also an expression of love. One of the ways people choose to honour their loved ones after they’ve passed is by creating memorials, such as “ashes to glass” keepsakes or “rings for ashes.” These memorial items provide a tangible way to hold onto the memory of a loved one and can offer comfort in times of sorrow.
The process of transforming ashes into glass creates a unique and lasting tribute. Whether in the form of a pendant, a vase, or a decorative piece, the ashes are carefully incorporated into the glass, making it a personal, heartfelt memento. For many, this allows the grieving person to feel as though their loved one’s spirit is always close, even as time goes on.
Similarly, “rings for ashes” provide a subtle yet meaningful way to carry the memory of a loved one with you every day. These rings can be designed to hold a small portion of the ashes of the deceased, encapsulating the essence of their presence in a piece of jewellery that can be worn close to the heart. For those who struggle with the notion of “letting go,” these keepsakes offer a sense of continued connection with the departed.
While memorialising someone in such a way can bring peace and comfort, it’s important to remember that these physical items are just one part of the mourning process. They do not replace the emotional journey that needs to be walked. The most significant aspect of grieving is the emotional support that comes from others — the ability to feel heard, seen, and loved through the experience of loss.
