Sibling rivalries are hard to navigate at the best of times, let alone when there has been a bereavement in the family. According to a recent survey, over 10% of people in the UK have contested a will, with intra-family conflicts being one of the most common reasons.
If you are currently disputing a will – or your siblings are disputing a will – the coming days and weeks are crucial in achieving a fair conclusion.
It is up to you to navigate this situation respectfully and carefully, ensuring that the testator’s wishes are accomplished and the family itself is not broken up. Below, we’re going to give you a few tips to achieve this, as well as some advice on how you can avoid will disputes in the future.
Seek Legal Advice
The first thing you need to do is seek legal advice, especially if you are the one contesting a will. When it comes to intra-family conflicts, there will be a lot of context and history that can get in the way of fair, meaningful mediation. A solicitor can help to focus you on the here and now and provide clear guidance on the legal aspects of the dispute.
Prioritise Open Communication
It’s also important to encourage open and honest communication. The last thing you want is for things to get heated and cynical, and this can only happen when thoughts and opinions are not shared freely. Make sure there is a platform that can discuss the dispute with a third party mediator who can keep things level.
Encourage Empathy Above all Else
Empathy will similarly be important here. While you doubtless have your own solid opinions on the will, you must ensure to listen to other viewpoints and concerns, and acknowledge the emotions that are involved on all sides. This isn’t about switching yourself off emotionally, it’s about holding your emotions in check, practising empathy, and allowing room for others to express theirs.
Keep to the Intentions of the Will
Unless there has been a clear case of undue influence, the will itself should be wholly respected. If there are any disputes, therefore, the terms of the will should be reviewed, as well as any accompanying documents – including letters of instruction or testamentary notes. Understanding the testator’s wishes fully can help to alleviate any misunderstandings and keep things clear – as opposed to clouded in amongst sibling rivalry.
Think About the Future
If you have managed to prioritise your family dynamics throughout the dispute resolution process, then you’re setting yourself up for a far simpler process down the line. Depending on the size of your family, it’s likely that you will all be beneficiaries again somewhere down the line, so it’s important to take proactive steps in the face of future disagreements.
Address the issues that have taken you to this point, and engage in open, honest discussion to heal any fractured relationships. Document any agreements or arrangements you make regarding estate planning, and make sure a mediator or trustee is already in place that understands your family dynamics.
This is undoubtedly a difficult time for you and your siblings, but with respectful, intelligent navigation, you can all get through it.
